Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Swimming At Night

  Late night swims through the soul truly reveal the depth of an ocean we call the mind.  As much as the water is unpolluted and clear to the bottom, in the dark and dirt is where I find my worth.  Flaws are brought to attention more from an agitated fish, or when we are startled by the point of an unseen shell defending itself to an intruding foot.  In the dark we are free from distraction until touched, surprised, and (in necessary ways) disturbed by what is truly happening, but is suppressed by the light we depend on.
  Swimming in the darkness has no sign of depth. No warning sign for dangers in the water. And the only way to truly explore is to dive in care free.  Where as depth means a peaceful meeting into the unkown; leaping headfirst into the shallow waters applies a trauma to shake us out of our norm. Because let it be known, epiphanies are never found in comfort. And reality is never checked without truly experiencing an unknown way of life, or perspective
  Although it is rude to disrupt a class and deprive students of knowledge, the schools of fish welcome me gladly in joining their growth and fellowship. I see my flaws in this disruption, and grow with this inclusion. Light gives us the ability to function. The dark has determined how I use my time in the sun. My body is able to convulse, and with every shiver a demon is disturbed and put on trial to find it's innocence, for everything holds guilt.
  A beach sets an image for a person to live, to smile, to bask in others appreciation for company. Yet, I found myself in a swamp. The murkiness gave me a reason to smile. The disorientation gave me a reason to need others, a god perhaps.
  Whether we are in a free fall, or are wading in our conflicts, the tide comes in to say "Hello' and always leaves without saying "Goodbye." And the ripples of the water are still dancing silently. I choose to swim with my problems. I choose to shake hands with resentment for myself. I give the ripples a tune to dance to.